


And then you are gone

by Monmonmoiru



Series: Hurt! Leon series (I'm so sorry, Leon) [3]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hopeful Ending, I Don't Even Know, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Not Beta Read, Rose was only mentioned, Sad Ending, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25238662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monmonmoiru/pseuds/Monmonmoiru
Summary: Would the moments of fighting, of loving and caring, and of laughing together be enough to keep Leon here with him? Raihan often wondered about that.
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Kibana | Raihan, Hop & Kibana | Raihan
Series: Hurt! Leon series (I'm so sorry, Leon) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676146
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	And then you are gone

**Author's Note:**

> �The story started out inspired by the song My Ordinary Life by Living Tombstone but then it turned to something else after I finished reading the light novel そして、君のいない九月がくる (Soshite, Kimi No Inai Kugatsu Ga Kuru) by 天沢夏月 (Amasawa Natsuki) so fair warning for those who already read the book or heard the song.
> 
> Honestly, if you are pressed after reading this about major character death even when I put the warning, you need to check your eyes instead of yelling at me. So this is the FINAL WARNING lmao 
> 
> For those who want to suffer, me too lol
> 
> As always, thank you for anyone who read, like, and comment!  
> (Please tell me, of course only if you want to, if there are any mistakes I made!)

"It's the Chairman!"

"Chairman Leon, please notice me!"

"What a handsome man!"

"Our hero!"

Those were the words Leon heard all the time. However, he also knew he was not loved by everyone in Galar.

"Look at him, he's probably an asshole behind all the glamour."

"Can't trust a guy who smiles like that all the time. Look at what happened during the finale. He was probably in it with Rose!"

"What a showoff!"

"Pathetic!"

Ah yes, those familiar words. The good and the bad, both were always ringing repeatedly in his head. For how long has Leon been enduring this? At this point, he believed that he was used to it. He told himself he could not care less about the negative words and the fake praises. He-

*Crack*

Blinking back to reality, the chairman realised that he was lost in thought in his own office at the Battle Tower. He was in the middle of writing down notes and accidentally snapped his pencil after a couple of minutes allowing his thoughts to wander. Taking a deep breath, Leon finally saw the hand that was holding the pencil before was now shaking. He took a moment to stare at it before a large hand that was not Leon's covered his.

"Hey there. Are you that stressed?" A warm voice asked him. It was his boyfriend, Raihan.

"Hey, Rai." The dragon gym leader leaned down for a kiss and one before continuing. "What are you doing here?"

"What? Can't a guy come to see his boyfriend?" Raihan huffed in playful annoyance.

"In the middle of work hour?" Leon said back with a grin on his face. Both of them burst out in laughter after that. They were so in love with each other that just being near each other made them feel happy. However, Raihan remembered Leon's behaviour from earlier and decided to ask.

"Leon, seriously though. Are you that stress? We can always move the exhibition match tomorrow to another day."

Shaking his head, Leon smiled at him gently. "It's alright, I can't leave my fans down for something as trivial as that."

"It's not trivial, it's never trivial, not with this, Leon."

"Hey," trying to reassure his boyfriend, the chairman stood up to hug him, "I promise if the feeling is getting worse, I'll tell you, okay?"

Even though Raihan was not happy with that, he reluctantly agreed to drop it.

* * *

The whole stadium shook as both Raihan and Leon Dynamax their pokemon. The crowd roared with excitement at the spectacular fight. Going head to head with his boyfriend was one of the few moments in Leon's life where he actually felt alive. The heat of battle was real. With Raihan (along with the new champion), he did not have to hold back anything.

Eventually, all battle has to end and as usual, it ended spectacularly with Charizard once again beaten Duraludon with its final G-Max Wildfire move. The crowd went wild, chanting Leon's name again and again. So much so that the chairman himself can feel a headache building up in his head. Glancing at Raihan, he almost flinched when he saw the dark look on his boyfriend's face. He knew it was just the heat of the battle that caused his boyfriend to wear that expression. The dragon gym leader even told him that when Leon questioned him after he lost to the little champion. Leon knew that, and yet his mind was telling him that his boyfriend hated him, resent him for constantly beating him. He understood one's pride can only take so much beating before it reached its limit and wondered when will Raihan reach his. "Maybe soon," his brain told him, "and then he will hate you."

Shaking his head in frustration, Leon looked back up to see the dark expression has disappeared from Raihan's face, replaced with a playful smirk he always wears for the public. They met each other in the middle of the pitch for a friendly handshake.

"A good match we got there. Congrats on the win. Even being a chairman hasn't slowed you down from winning a match, huh?" Raihan asked to put up a show as the camera panned to them.

"Not at all. Thanks to the battle tower, I have even more practice while also training others!" Leon put up a grin on his face as he said that.

Both of them pose for the camera and the fans before exiting the pitch.

Once they are in the locker room, they both dropped onto the bench and let out a long sigh.

"Whew, another day, another match..." Raihan said, looking at the ceiling before glancing at his boyfriend, the said boyfriend had his head tilted down and his long hair covered his face. However, the dragon gym leader noticed the shaking of his hands. Not knowing why the chairman was like that but still wanting to comfort him, Raihan gently reached around his shoulders to pull him into a side hug. "It's over now. Calm down."

"..." Leon whispered something but his boyfriend couldn't catch it.

"Hm? Sorry, you whispered the words so I didn't hear it."

"Nothing!" The purple-hair man quickly sat upright and threw a fake shaky smile his way.

Frowning, Raihan turned to him properly and use both hands to cup Leon's cheeks. "Dandelion, please, you've been like this for a while now. And yes, I notice. So please, tell me what's plaguing your mind?"

"It's..." Leon was struggling to get the words out. "It's... I just..."

Disappointed but decided bot to push, Raihan placed a kiss on the other's forehead. "I'll let it go this once. Just know that we, yes we, your brother, your mother, me, everyone, are all here for you." Those words made Leon tear up and turned to hug his loving boyfriend.

After a few more comforting words, they bid each other goodbyes, with Leon heading back to Wyndon and Raihan staying in Hammerlocke.

"Please stay..." Raihan thought, staring at the fading shadow of his boyfriend as he flew away on his Charizard.

* * *

_(5 years ago)_

_Raihan was in training to become the next gym leader of Hammerlocke after the late dragon gym leader, Lewis, asked him to be his apprentice. From then on, he trained extremely hard to make Lewis proud of him. He also realised that he liked the idea of being a gym leader. Not only will he be able to battle his friend Leon easier, not having to go through all the gyms again, but also being a gym leader sounds pretty cool in itself._

_Being an apprentice, Raihan was allowed to enter the Hammerlocke vault without permission (after Lewis explicitly told him not to damage anything and he swore up and down he won't). He liked to spend time looking at the artifacts in there. He often invited the little champion, his best friend, into the vault with him to look around in there. Raihan noticed that Leon likes to just stand against the castle wall and look out to the world, eyes wide in wonder. To the apprentice, that sight of his friend was one of the most beautiful things he has ever seen._

_One day, after training with Lewis, Raihan hurried to the vault, knowing that Leon was already waiting at their usual meeting, up high of the building. Thank goodness Raihan was used to the stairs or else he would be out of breath once he reached the top. Taking a deep breath, he looked up to see his friend standing on the wall of the vault, cape brushing against the floor and his back against him._

_Without thinking, Raihan ran to him and called out his name, "Leon!"_

_Flinching in fright, Leon would have fallen if not for the fact that Raihan reached out to tug his cape back and then quickly wrapped his arms around the smaller boy._

_"Raihan!" Leon was surprised._

_"What the bloody hell were you doing?" Raihan yelled. His heart beating fast at the thought that he almost lost his friend because of his carelessness._

_"Nothing, I was just standing, wondering."_

_"... Alright..." Taking a deep breath, the dragon trainer pulled Leon so that both of them were sitting against the wall. He was still unwilling to let go of his friend as he pulled the boy close. "Just... never do that again. You frightened me out there, mate!"_

_"Sorry, Raihan..." They sat together in silence with Leon's head resting against the other's shoulder while their arms wrapped around each other._

_"Hey, Rai?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Are you afraid of height?"_

_"Pft, of course not! You? Oh yeah, you ride on your Charizard so of course not."_

_"Believe it or not, I do. I feel safe riding Charizard but most of the time... the thought of flying is kinda scary."_

_They fall into silence once again before Raihan decided to ask._

_"Why did you stand on the wall?"_

_"...Raihan..." There was contemplation in Leon's voice._

_"Yeah?"_

_"Ya know, there a lot of people who die from jumping off high buildings. I wonder how scary it is sometimes. When I was standing on the wall, it looks pretty high there..."_

_It was as if an electric shock ran through Raihan as he immediately flinched away, eyes wide as he stared at his friend._

_"WHAT?"_

_"Hehe, just kidding, just kidding. You know I wouldn't jump. Didn't I say I'm afraid of height?"_

_"Stop, Leon, JUST STOP!"_

_The little champ immediately shut his mouth and finally noticed his friend was shaking. "Rai... I'm sorry."_

_Raihan quickly held onto the other's shoulder tightly. "Don't. Don't talk like that."_

_"Please, Rai, I was just kidding. I have no intention to die."_

_"Don't lie to me either. Just..." Raihan realised he was now crying, voice a bit hoarse after not used to yelling. "Why are you asking these things? Is there something troubling you? Anything?"_

_"It's nothing, mate. I was just joking with you." Leon attempted a smile but it looked like a grimace._

_"This is no joking matter. Just why are you having those thoughts?"_

_"I don't know..." Here, Leon seemed hesitant before he powered on, "I suppose it's the pressure of being a champion. Funny, isn't it? Five years ago, I was elated by the fact that I become the Galar champion, but now? Now I just feel so overwhelmed by everything and yet so empty myself. There are moments when I wonder does it even matter if I exist or not, if anything matters anyway. And the funny thing is, I shouldn't complain about this, shouldn't even think this way. Plenty of people want what I have and yet here I am, whining."_

_Hands were quick to hold onto Leon's shoulders. "You're allowed to feel this way, Leon. Being in your position right now doesn't mean you can't complain. Those that want what you're having right now don't even know half of what you have to go through just to keep it. I know because I can see that there are times you are exhausted, and yet, the chairman keeps on pushing you. I don't like it, I don't like it at all... and I hate that I can't do anything about it."_

_"Yeah, sometimes I hate being a champion too, but I guess if it means being able to protect everyone and to hear everyone, I'll keep doing it" Leon gently pulled Raihan's hands from his shoulders and once again leaned onto Raihan for reassurance and closed his eyes. "I'm tired, let me rest against you for a while."_

_A moment of silence pass by before Raihan snaked an arm around the other's shoulder to pull him closer. "Then rest. If you are protecting Galar then I'll be there to protect you in return. Just promise me if you ever feel down, talk to me."_

_"Hm, I promise. Raihan?" Raihan hummed in question and glanced down to see a broken smile on Leon's face. "It's alright... I won't jump."_

_"Good, cause I'd be very sad. And your mum would be sad too, and Hop, and Sonia, and-"_

_"Okay, okay I get it." Both of them chuckled a bit before falling back to silence._

_"... I'm serious though. I'd miss you."_

_"I know, Raihan, I know."_

* * *

(Present)

It was a day later after Leon told him he was going to spend some time with Sonia hiking that he received the fateful phone call.

A buzz from Raihan's Rotom phone alerted him that someone just was calling him.

"Raihan, a call from Sonia!"

"What? Are they gonna brag about being outdoor or something?" For some reason, the gym leader had a bad feeling about this call though. He decided to pick up the phone. "Hey Sonia, how's it going?"

"Raihan?" Sonia sounded panic. "Raihan!"

"S-Sonia? What's wrong?"

"No time to explain! You have to get to Wyndon hospital right now! Leon is a critical condition!"

"What?!" Without waiting for an answer, Raihan quickly called out his Flygon to fly him to Wyndon.

Bursting into the hospital, Raihan frantically looked around for the front desk. Once he located where it is, he ran to it.

"The Chairman! Where is he?" The poor nurse has to stutter out that Leon is still in the emergency room and no, he cannot go there yet. Raihan was about the yelled back when a familiar voice snapped him out of it. It was Sonia.

"Sonia! What happened?" Sonia looked horrible. Her hair was a mess and there was dirt on her skin and clothes.

"Leon! He...he-" Sonia was shaking so much that Raihan had to ease her down to sit on a chair before prompting her to continue. "We were out hiking, and then he excused himself for a leak before heading to some trees quite away from me. I figured he just want some privacy so I did not mind, then I hear a cut scream from him. I ran to him only to see a cliff behind the trees with no sign of him. I- I ran to the edge and looked down and there he was, motionless an-and- and I can't, Raihan, I can't." Sonia tried to power through as much as possible before breaking down in tears in the end.

Hundreds of thoughts are running through Raihan's mind when he heard her words. Is this... did Leon... did he... BUT HE PROMISED.

However, the sound of Sonia sobbing cut through his thoughts and so he decided that he should calm himself down and comforted his friend before jumping to a conclusion. Soon, Hop, his mom, and even the little champion were running in. All of them looked tired and dishevelled.

When a doctor finally came out, they all jumped to their feet. At the sight of the family, the scientist, and the gym leader, the doctor seemed to be taking a deep breath and before heading towards them. Their face saddened.

"I'm sorry to say this, but the Chairman didn't make it. During the fall, he had hit his head, causing internal bleeding. We tried everything we can but it was too late."

Hop and his mom started to break down in tears. Sonia staggered back and kept shaking her head in denial. The little champ tried to comfort everyone while being devastated themselves. How about Raihan?

He could not register a word the doctor said. Didn't make it? Leon? THE Leon is gone? His boyfriend, the one he loves the most is gone? Why? Was this an accident? Or was it- He couldn't even think about that word. He couldn't have done that... right? He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't-

The words repeated in his head like a mantra. He just couldn't.

That night, Leon's family invited him and Sonia to come over, probably thinking that they need some comforting too, but the gym leader refused. He didn't think he could look at their faces only to see his boyfriend's feature stare back at him. So alone, he dragged himself back. His pupils probably heard about the news because they were already waiting for him outside of his place. All of their faces showed grief because, by no surprise, they all loved Leon and enjoyed the time he stayed there with them whenever he visited. They all went to hug Raihan and he returned the hug so hard that the pupils had some difficulty breathing. However, they did not say a word because they knew he needed this.

In the next few days, a funeral was held and the whole Galar mourned for their beloved Chairman and Ex-Champion. After the funeral, Raihan trapped himself in the safety of his room. He couldn't face anyone's pitiful gaze right now. He had cried himself dry; missing the feeling of warm embrace only one person can give him. His thoughts have turned to a darker path.

There were still investigations to see whether Leon had jumped by himself or he carelessly slipped and fell. However, Raihan's mind just went directly to one conclusion. How dare Leon leave him like that when he promised? _'He told me he'll come to me if anything is bothering him, so how dare that bastard just went and did shit like that? When he still has me here, waiting, begging for him to just fucking OPEN UP?'_ Raihan was seething but he knew there was nothing he could do because Leon was GONE.

The days still went by even when Raihan lay stagnant. The blames were now turned to himself. _'I should have pushed a little bit more. I should have done something. I should have-'_ The 'should have' thoughts continued running through his mind.

Everyone has been trying to contact him but he refused. He just couldn't. Not with those sad eyes and words aiming his way. He was sure that for now, if he meets any of them, he wouldn't be able to recover.

One day, a loud knock coming from his door. Raihan tried to ignore it but it seemed the person on the other side was persistent. He did not know how but the knocking continued for another 10 minutes before he took pity on whoever was on the other side. "Okay, okay, I'm coming."

It was Hop. Hop who looked like he hasn't slept in days; Hop who was so tired and red in the eyes as if he was crying moments ago; Hop who almost looked like a copy of his brother. The thought almost brought another wave of tears to Raihan.

"Raihan..."

"Hop..."

Without warning, Hop wrapped his arms around the gym leader and cried. The taller man couldn't hold back his tears and they sank to the floor, mourning for the person they love the most together, each of them in a different sense. Other than his mom and Leon, Raihan was another person that Hop always depended on. So now, when he did not want to burden his mother further with his feelings, he needed Raihan and vice versa.

After a good cry, they pulled away from each other and Raihan offered him a cup of tea. Hop accepted it and they moved to the living room to settle. Blowing on the steaming hot tea, Hop finally said something.

"Ugh, if Leon is here, he wouldn't let us mope around like this."

Snorting in amusement, Raihan reply, "Well, yeah, too bad he's not." The sentence further dampened the mood but Raihan was quick to continue so that Hop didn't break down for another round of tears. "Hey, so I heard you are doing researches about Pokemon now. I'm proud of you, buddy."

"Heh, thanks. I never thought I'll be following in Sonia's footsteps instead. Leon did encourage me to do it though."

"And I know that he's proud of you"

"Yeah, I know," Hop said with a sad but fond smile. Both of them fall into comfortable silence after that. After finishing his cup of tea, Hop decided it was time to go and thanked Raihan for spending his time comforting him. Raihan waved him off and said he is always welcome here.

Just before he left, Hop turned and handed Raihan a sealed letter. "It's Leon's letter to you. It was in a box Leon hid in his old room and it has your name on it. This is probably only for your eyes to see anyway."

Raihan hesitantly took the letter and the two said their goodbyes. Instead of opening the letter right away, it took him a few days to do it, leaving it on the table at the head of his bed. The gym leader almost forgot about it until one morning where he woke up from a dream where Leon was still alive. With tears still staining his cheeks, he shakily opened the envelope, thinking it's a suicide note Leon left for him before he went dying on the gym leader. It started as expected.

_Dear my beloved Raihan,_

_If you found this note, it means I have died. You're probably crying right now. Please don't because you look more handsome when you smile._

_However, I PROMISE YOU, I didn't kill myself. Because like I said before, I made a promise with you. I would never, not even in a million years, attempt to sabotage my own life. If you found this letter, it means that that we probably grew old together and I died before you (If that so then don't worry, we'll meet again shortly. And you know that I didn't kill myself too :-p) or that I died by some freak accident (if it comes to that then I'll have to wait for a while huh?)._

_No matter what happened, continue living, continue becoming an inspiration for the people of Galar, continue being yourself. That's all I want to ask of you..._

_Ugh, this letter is all over the place. I am not good with words and I regret not paying more attention to those reading and writing classes because now I don't know if I'll able to express how much I love you in the short paragraph below._

_I just want to say I love you. I love you from the bottom of my heart. There's not a day I regret spending time with you. Although I am unable to be there with you physically, I'm always there in your heart whenever you think of me, cheering for you._

_So for now, I'll say goodbye to you, my love, and see you again someday on the other side._

_Your love (and rival),_

_Leon_

Tears stained the edge of the page as Raihan tried to hold back his sobs. That idiot that was his boyfriend, what a silly man he was. Even trying to assure Raihan after his death. Ridiculous, but somehow that brought a small smile on Raihan's face.

He knew no matter what, he couldn't rewind time. He couldn't get Leon back. So like what the letter said, he would try his best to remind people of the legacy his boyfriend has built for himself, to inspire people of Galar, and most importantly, he'll learn to live on.

But for now, just for now, he would allow himself to cry one last time.

**Author's Note:**

> Was Leon just clumsy enough for a trip and fall or did he jump? We'll never know.
> 
> Also sorry, this fic is kinda a mess with Leon pov at the beginning and then just switching to Raihan's pov


End file.
